This post is part of a series of posts called ‘How Style Affects Your Life‘ which will cover the basics of how fashion and style intertwine with our everyday lives. From the obvious to the subconscious, this series will take a dive into more advanced parts of what makes people think the way they do and how you can take advantage of these subconscious thoughts to better improve your own life in many key areas such as dating, self-confidence, and business.

This first post will cover the ways that your style and fashion affect your dating life and how to take notice of what messages you are giving off with what you are wearing. It will also go over other areas outside of fashion that deal more with your personality and confidence, which can be enhanced through style. With that introduction out of the way lets get into the basics.

Basics of Dating Psychology

Most women love to date the alpha male, also known as the natural leader. Most men, though, are not alpha males and some lack those character traits which puts them behind in the dating game. Fear not because no one is born an alpha male and there are character traits that any person can improve upon in their own lives to come across as a worthy life partner. An alpha male is not someone that is a certain way but someone that appears a certain way. Confidence is one of the main drivers behind an alpha male and the way we feel about ourselves is a direct indicator of our own confidence. Studies show that what we wear has a major impact on how we feel about ourselves and how confident we are.

There are other parts of a person’s physical appearance which contribute to a subconscious feeling or attraction towards a person. Some can be controlled, while others cannot. The key to improving your dating game is to learn which of these character traits can be controlled and which you can change towards your benefit.

Traits Which Affect Dating

The three main areas of physical appearance which affect how women see you the most are:

  • Your height and fitness: These two traits suggest your ability to physically protect a woman and provide for her. You can’t control your height but you can control your fitness.
  • Looks or physical appearance: This also indicates good genes and in turn directly affect your desirability to other women. You can control your look to a certain extent through style, fashion, fitness and grooming.
  • Dress and grooming: These indicate self-respect, self-care, and cleanliness.

All these traits combined form the level of attraction that a woman gets when they first see you. If you can improve some, or most, of these traits then your chances of having better dating experiences go through the roof.

There are other parts of your physical appearance which come into play such as body language or how you move, look and talk to a woman. Your level of comfort, calmness, self-esteem and overall confidence are the main indicators of your body language. I will cover some tips on how to use body language towards your advantage both by what you do and what you notice the other person does. But by far the most important part is confidence and as mentioned before being able to improve your level of confidence through what you wear is paramount.

There are other parts of your physical appearance which come into play such as body language or how you move, look and talk to a woman. Your level of comfort, calmness, self-esteem and overall confidence are the main indicators of your body language. I will cover some tips on how to use body language towards your advantage both by what you do and what you notice the other person does. But by far the most important part is confidence and as mentioned before being able to improve your level of confidence through what you wear is paramount.

Other traits that don’t directly relate to your physical appearance that do affect dating have to do with your personality, intelligence and sexual desirability. I will not go over these parts in this post but you can learn more about this by reading this great post: http://www.themodestman.com/how-to-be-attractive/

Tricks You Can Use To Improve Your Dating

Now that you know how the psychology of dating works based on physical appearance let’s get into some tips that you can use to improve the areas that you can control. These tips are based on certain factors of the character traits that were mentioned above that are controllable.

  1. How to appear taller (for shorter guys) – There are few tricks to appearing taller if you lack the height of a basketball player. Your height affects things that you would never even imagine (some studies mention that every extra inch means a better paycheck). http://www.livescience.com/5552-taller-people-earn-money.html
    • The first option is to make sure that you tailor your clothing. Clothes that fit correctly will not only make you appear taller but it will also make you look more fit. This is more of a general tip that will make anyone look better.
    • Wear patterns that are more vertical than horizontal. For example: You have probably heard this one before but wearing stripes that go up and down will give off an illusion that makes you seem taller than you are. http://www.askmen.com/fashion/fashiontip_250/266_fashion_advice.html
    • Avoiding sharp contrast between your lower half and the upper half is a good trick to use since doing this will cut your total height in half when someone looks at you.
  2. Fitness – This one should be pretty obvious but putting some time in the gym and working out to improve your appearance should be a daily goal in your life. It shows that you are attentive to your body and health and will lead to you looking better and more like an alpha male who can protect their significant other. Not only this but it has multiple other benefits that go far beyond just improving your dating game. Read more about the benefits that fitness can have on your overall life and why it is the most important part of a man’s style: https://menstylenation.com/most-important-part-fitness/
  3. Style/Fashion – Following some of the tips on this site is all you need. /s
    • All jokes aside, putting some thought and effort into your fashion and wardrobe will show off and provide benefits beyond what you expect. Your clothing lets others know how you see yourself and in turn will affect how others view you. Wearing a suit versus just a white t and jeans can make a big difference in your own confidence level and will definitely affect those around you and how they respond to, and view, you. This is important, especially for first date situations.
    • Get Tailored Clothing – If you start working out and get a lower body fat percentage then getting tailored clothing will be to your advantage as this is a major area where you can change the way the same shirt or pants will look on you in a positive way. Tailoring your clothing is hugely important to improving your appearance.
  4. Grooming – As with fitness, this should be a no brainer. Being able to groom yourself routinely and keep up your facial hair and haircut shows that you care about your looks and are not sloppy or unclean. These are traits that women look for in a possible partner so either start grooming daily or every other day or at least make an effort. For example, wearing a haircut that suits the face type that you have is important to improving your face which is where you should start if looking to improve your style.

How To Use Body Language To Your Advantage

This part doesn’t have to do with fashion or style directly but it will affect your dating game and should be part of any attempt you make to improve yourself and style. Body language is, of course, physical and using body language tricks along with fashion and style improvements will lead to better results in the end. For these reasons, I have included the following tips and information regarding body language and how to use it to your advantage in the dating world.

There are many books and videos online that discuss more in depth how body language as a whole can be used to your advantage but for this post I will just cover how you can be self-aware of what signals your body gives out and how to either change or use that information. Once you understand that, then you can use it to your own advantage when reading other people’s body language to quickly gauge their feelings towards you that they may not know they are giving out subconsciously.

I have seen some other videos online about what body language gives off a signal of lying such as when they look to the left and up, or something similar when answering a question.This usually means they are lying or making something up. Not sure how true that is but you can find hundreds of posts on this subject online from spy novels and the such. By the way, up and to the right usually means that the answer they are giving is coming from memory and not fantasy.

One of the most important parts of body language involves your eyes and the movement they make which signal certain feelings. For example, if you are talking to someone and making eye contact, if you look away it shows that the other person is the authority figure or that you have to look away due to nervousness. The same is said when you look across the room and someone catches your stare and you immediately look away. This gives off a vibe of nervousness and is awkward since you probably don’t notice you do it and once you do it’s too late to save face.

Moving your eyes away don’t always mean this though. For example, another signal with eye contacts has to do with when you are talking to someone and they don’t move their eyes away from you in a sign of nervousness but a sign of boredom. You probably know that feeling or have done it to someone yourself when they are talking and you begin to look around the room while thinking about anything but what is being said. This is usually accompanied by an eye roll and definitely is not good for you if you are on the receiving end. If you do notice this then take note and either switch up the conversation or attempt something different as what you are currently doing is not working.

3 Quick Tips To Improve Your Body Language

  1. Be able to look into someone’s eyes without it being awkward for you – I went over this one above but the more you are able to control how you stare when talking with someone or when scanning a room for women the more likely you are to come across as the alpha male and not just a nervous guy. A trick I read online was that you focus on either one of the person’s eyes (not both) or to take note of their eye color. Trying either of these methods after awhile will give you enough confidence to be able to look at someone dead in the eyes without having the urge to look away.
  2. Take up space in a room – This one I have read a lot about how a wide stance when sitting gives off a sign of authority. It also gives off a sign of assurance that you are not worried about the situation you find yourself in and come off as confident.
  3. Mirror their body language – Mirroring is a subconscious response where we mirror or mimic, the body language of someone we like. Contrary to this is the fact that not mirroring does not equal lack of attraction and should not be taken as such. If they do mirror your body language then take it as a good sign. Don’t be worried if they are not mirroring your body language.

There are many books and videos online that discuss more in depth how body language as a whole can be used to your advantage but for this post I will just cover how you can be self-aware of what signals your body gives out and how to either change or use that information. Once you understand that, then you can use it to your own advantage when reading other people’s body language to quickly gauge their feelings towards you that they may not know they are giving out subconsciously.

Stay tuned for part 2 on how to use style and fashion to improve your success in life and in business.

These 7 tips will help you become a better and more confident man and in turn become a better option for a woman looking for a date. Try some of the above tips and see how they directly improve your own dating experiences.

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